Sunday, October 16, 2011

Motivation




Written by Amandita Sullivan
Brought to you by: Hope for Disabilities

"GOOD THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN" is my mantra.  I whisper it upon waking up, while at the doctors receiving bad news, as I battle through one of my daily skull-crushing migraines, when "it's another Saturday night and I aint got nobody" (like tonight lol) and as I lay me down to sleep. Despite what the scoreboard reads, en el fondo de mi corazoncito - in the bottom of my heart - I know that the best REALLY is yet to come.

Whenever people hear my story, they want me to curse the world and stomp on the grave of the man who did this to me. They demand the names and numbers of whomever has hurt me, disrespected me, made me cry or temporarily stolen my smile. I'm expected to despise my life. I'm supposed to not want to get out of bed to face the day. I should assume men do not want to date me. My spirits should be low and my confidence even lower. No one would blame me for keeping my sadness up and my head down. But, that's not how Sully "rolls" ...

I made a very conscious decision in the weeks after my accident. I chose to LOVE my LIFE, even though I may not like my CIRCUMSTANCES. If I don't love my life, then I can never fully love myself. And if I don't love myself, how can I expect anyone else to love me?? This came with the realization that complaining will NOT improve anything. Transforming into Negative Nelly will not magically allow me to run. Holding grudges against "the powers that be" will certainly not empower me. As a matter of fact, whining worsens a bad situation by allowing a person to chose victim-mentality over hero-mentality. A broken spirit is way more disabling than a broken body and almost impossible to cure. So, DO NOT let this happen to you!! We create our reality through our THOUGHTS alone. By thinking positive thoughts & surrounding yourself with like-minded people, you will become unstoppable~ I PROMISE YOU!! By adopting "The Good Things Are Going To Happen Mentality", wonderful situations will begin unfolding before your eyes and beautiful people will walk, crutch and wheel into your life.

On the way out of the hospital one day, my Mom parked my wheelchair in the sun so she could go get the car. A frail little lady, also in a wheelchair, was left in the same strip of sunlight, as well, by her handicap van driver.

Her arm was in a sling and her big brown eyes were welled-up with tears. She informed me that her name was Susan and asked what I had done to myself. After explaining that I was struck by a car, I asked Susan what happened to her. "I have cancer. =( =( ", she said, "But it's treatable... " Her voice trembled and trailed off.

This beautiful lady wanted to know exactly what the doctors told me at my most-recent medical evaluation & what they had been saying about my situation & my recovery in general. I responded very honestly,"Susan, it doesn't matter what the doctors say. We can never EVER base our recovery nor our happiness and optimism on the words that THEY chose to define US. What truly matters is how you feel in your heart. My heart knows I will be fine. This way, I let my heart define me, not my body. This is our unique opportunity to let our hearts transcend our bodies. "

Overcome with emotion, Susan wheeled herself next to me and embraced me. Through tears she whispered, "Amanda, it is like God put you in my path right now, in this little shared strip of sunlight, at the EXACT moment that I needed to hear those exact words. THANK YOU..."

I repeated the quote that I placed in my Facebook status earlier that morning, because it was fresh in my mind:

"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes." Susan stopped crying, wiped the tears from her cheeks and a bright smile exploded across her face. As we said our goodbyes, I reminded Susan that that it's up to us to keep the candle in our souls burning because that very candle will curse the darkness of our situations down the road. How bright our spiritual flames will burn is determined by US, not by our situations. And, "it only takes ONE candle to curse the darkness." Had I not been injured and at the hospital, I would not have been placed directly in Susan's path. Hugging her made a lot of the drama of my past few months disappear.

This difficult journey, though something I would've NEVER chosen for myself, has been like a Graduate School for my soul. I've learned that Spiritual Strength (SS) is infinitely more important than physical strength. With time, SS heals ALL emotional wounds, thus transforming a would-be victim into A WARRIOR!

My heart is opened to whatever The Universe wishes to teach me while I fight towards my full recovery. This new wave of inspiration has flooded my being so greatly that I almost feel badly for the times I've been frustrated with the crutches and the wheelchair. Focusing on what I can NOT do upsets me every time. I am now maintaining my focus on everything I CAN DO. And, low and behold, I am pretty amazing!! Who knew?? I bet you are, too (you just don't realize it yet). I'm excited to be a part of something EPIC, which is already teaching me more about pain, struggle, heartbreak, hope, determination, inspiration, life and love than I could have ever learned otherwise.

The key to TRUE HAPPINESS lies in keeping your heart opened to all of the lessons that the Universe is trying to teach you with each new experience. This holds true especially during the most trying times of our lives: When the chips are down, the bills are piling up, your back's against the wall & instinct is telling you to protect yourself by closing up to everyone around you. So, keep SMILING when you want to cry. Practice GRATITUDE. Search for the UNIQUE lessons to be learned through adversity. Let your soul overflow with HOPE, LOVE & LAUGHTER! As a result, a spark will IGNITE within your soul cursing the darkness and illuminating an INSPIRED path amongst the rubble of your troubles.


Brought to you by Hope for Disabilities

Monday, October 10, 2011

Don't Stop ~ Get it, Get it...

Written by:  Amandita Sullivan
 www.facebook.com/amanditasullivan


Whenever I have a long night of not being able to sleep because my body is killing me, I take a look at something like this: The final page of my accident report, with some extra notes added onto it. Reading the last line of this paragraph is scary, as is the thought that the driver was in a position/condition in which he had no idea he was operating the vehicle with a person on the trunk of his car. They say that, "he is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." Even though things have been less than ideal since, that day could have ended much differently for me (and not in a good way). Focusing on my multiple blessings makes me feel fortunate and beyond grateful that I'm in one piece today. Let's be honest: Having to fight your way to the top of any mountain stinks. But, once I get there, all the sleepless nights, tears, pain and struggle will have been worth it. So today I've got my eye on the NYC Marathon that I will be running someday. I can almost feel how exhilarating & empowering crossing the finish line is going to be =)



Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Life Lesson 118: Attending a BSU Football Game (with MS)



Written by: Heidi J Sweson 
 A Single Mom living with Multiple Sclerosis




There is nothing like watching a good football game and the icing on the cake is watching your own infamous college football team win on their home turf.  Combine that with great friends, tailgating, good food and drinks and you have one of the best days of the year.  Now add Multiple Sclerosis to the equation and depending on the circumstances, you may have a recipe for disaster.  I love football, especially college football, so when one of my best friends offered me a ticket I couldn’t have been more excited.  These days getting a ticket to a home Boise State football game isn’t so easy, especially if you don’t have deep pockets.  So no matter what condition I woke up in that day, I was prepared to have a good time, regardless!

We spent the week looking forward to the game, called our friends to see who else would be attending, arranged a carpool (now days parking is almost impossible anywhere near the stadium) and then planned to make it an all day event.  We clad ourselves in BSU attire and were proud to see all the vehicles with Boise State flags flying from their car windows as we drove downtown to have lunch before tailgating.  From there we headed (via complimentary shuttles thanks to BSU) towards the stadium to join the masses of diehard fans who had set up their tents in style, adorned with big screen TV’s, BBQ’s, tables, chairs, you name and they had it.  These are experienced tailgaters!
Unfortunately the day of the game, Boise hit an all time record high on September 24th of 98 degrees and none us were prepared (at least the other girls had tank tops underneath) but not me!  I was in jeans, a BSU T-shirt, and a sweatshirt tied around my waist, prepared for a cool fall evening.  From the minute we were dropped off, I began to sweat, and it continued to pour down my face, back, stomach, and the rings under my armpits continued to swell as the day wore on.  Gross!  The first thing we did was look for the usual tailgaters we knew who would provide us with shade and ice. Mission Unaccomplished.  Secondly, we searched for and found our own bit of shade and nestled in.  While cowering under a tree I got a text from an old friend who said they were in an RV several blocks over.  We decided it was worth the walk.

Ten minutes later we were welcomed aboard, not sure how much cooler the temperature was inside but at least we were out of the sun.  We were told it was cooler in back of the RV, so I B-lined it back there and hit the deck (in other words I did what my dog does and I laid out on the floor where it’s the coolest because duh- heat rises ;).  We weren’t in there for more than 15 minutes when the generator went out, no joke.  They teased us for being a curse and told us all to jump ship.  I didn’t even have the energy to get up at this point, let alone go back out on the jet black asphalt and pull out my guns to take back over some shade again (not my real guns, my biceps).  I was a wreck at this point.  I told my friends that the only way they could drag me out of that microwave oven was for us to go inside either an air conditioned restaurant or bar.

So they dragged my heavy, sweat soaked body over to a local place which was nearby and soon we were all happy.  I found a place to sit and other than the restroom, I didn’t move.  Speaking of restrooms, who designs them anyways?  Certainly not a woman, because without fail there is always no less than 10 women in line and the men never have to wait.  I call BS!  As the time came for the game to start I was thinking in the back of my mind I’d rather stay in the AC versus sit in the ridiculously hot stands.  However it was a privilege to be in the stands so off we went.  I was two breaths away from passing out from heat stroke while standing in the never ending line to get in.  (Thank goodness I have a sneaky friend.)  Once I was inside, we found our seats in the end zone, in the much appreciated shade, and I made myself as comfortable as possible.  Stadium seating however, is not the least bit comfortable.

The game was a blast, and there is nothing like watching football live with all the other excited fans in face paint cheering at the top of their lungs.  I learned quickly that in the end zone they have you stand up for just about every play to show you are the ultimate supporters.  Right away I started to feel it.  Unfortunately with my poor eyesight I could only see the plays that were on our end of the field.  The screen was too far for me to see as well so a lot of the game was a blur.  I coveted a couch and flat screen TV numerous times.  By half time I was a mess.  I left the stadium (my only shot at using a bathroom) and was able to exercise my back and legs as I headed back over to our favorite spot.  I relished in the AC, comfortable seats, and a TV where I could actually see the whole game.  I had a very hard time making my way back to the stadium. 

A little while after halftime, very slowly but surely, I walked back over and enjoyed the last part of the game.  It was a sure win by then and every time we stood up and back down by then was just sheer pain.  My back was seizing and although it was a good game I couldn’t wait for it to be over.  We shuffled out of the stadium, waited in another seemingly endless line for a shuttle to transport us back downtown to our car.  As we were walking we heard a one man band playing music and talking so we decided to stop for a short time and enjoy the cool night air.  The musician/comedian put on quite a show and totally reminded me of Zack Galifianakis.  I laughed until I forgot all about my aching back and joints.   

It was the perfect end to the perfect day (on the pain scale it rated a slightly lower than perfect).  Once we were home, kids dozed off in bed, sleep wasn’t hard to find.  However, getting out of bed the next day was much harder than expected.  In fact, it has been four days now and the pain in my back has only gotten worse every day.  Whether I’m sitting, standing or attempting to walk like a feebled old woman, I can’t get comfortable.  I strained my eyes trying to watch the game and the heat didn’t help, so I’ve also seen a temporary worsening in my vision as well in my good eye.  

My point in telling you all of this isn’t to complain.  It’s to tell you that given the chance to do it all over again, I’d still say “Yes!” when she offered me the ticket and I absolutely wouldn’t have missed the game for the world.  Just because I have MS doesn’t mean I have to stop living.  I’m going to have setbacks, some minor and some not so minor.  But in the end, I’m going to take advantage of every opportunity and live life to the fullest while I still can.  I have enjoyed a lot more in life by saying yes than saying no.  So the next time an opportunity comes your way, just say YES!