Motivation

‎
Written by Amandita Sullivan
Brought to you by: Hope for Disabilities

"GOOD THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN" is my mantra.  I whisper it upon waking up, while at the doctors receiving bad news, as I battle through one of my daily skull-crushing migraines, when "it's another Saturday night and I aint got nobody" (like tonight lol) and as I lay me down to sleep. Despite what the scoreboard reads, en el fondo de mi corazoncito - in the bottom of my heart - I know that the best REALLY is yet to come.

Whenever people hear my story, they want me to curse the world and stomp on the grave of the man who did this to me. They demand the names and numbers of whomever has hurt me, disrespected me, made me cry or temporarily stolen my smile. I'm expected to despise my life. I'm supposed to not want to get out of bed to face the day. I should assume men do not want to date me. My spirits should be low and my confidence even lower. No one would blame me for keeping my sadness up and my head down. But, that's not how Sully "rolls" ...

I made a very conscious decision in the weeks after my accident. I chose to LOVE my LIFE, even though I may not like my CIRCUMSTANCES. If I don't love my life, then I can never fully love myself. And if I don't love myself, how can I expect anyone else to love me?? This came with the realization that complaining will NOT improve anything. Transforming into Negative Nelly will not magically allow me to run. Holding grudges against "the powers that be" will certainly not empower me. As a matter of fact, whining worsens a bad situation by allowing a person to chose victim-mentality over hero-mentality. A broken spirit is way more disabling than a broken body and almost impossible to cure. So, DO NOT let this happen to you!! We create our reality through our THOUGHTS alone. By thinking positive thoughts & surrounding yourself with like-minded people, you will become unstoppable~ I PROMISE YOU!! By adopting "The Good Things Are Going To Happen Mentality", wonderful situations will begin unfolding before your eyes and beautiful people will walk, crutch and wheel into your life.

On the way out of the hospital one day, my Mom parked my wheelchair in the sun so she could go get the car. A frail little lady, also in a wheelchair, was left in the same strip of sunlight, as well, by her handicap van driver.

Her arm was in a sling and her big brown eyes were welled-up with tears. She informed me that her name was Susan and asked what I had done to myself. After explaining that I was struck by a car, I asked Susan what happened to her. "I have cancer. =( =( ", she said, "But it's treatable... " Her voice trembled and trailed off.

This beautiful lady wanted to know exactly what the doctors told me at my most-recent medical evaluation & what they had been saying about my situation & my recovery in general. I responded very honestly,"Susan, it doesn't matter what the doctors say. We can never EVER base our recovery nor our happiness and optimism on the words that THEY chose to define US. What truly matters is how you feel in your heart. My heart knows I will be fine. This way, I let my heart define me, not my body. This is our unique opportunity to let our hearts transcend our bodies. "

Overcome with emotion, Susan wheeled herself next to me and embraced me. Through tears she whispered, "Amanda, it is like God put you in my path right now, in this little shared strip of sunlight, at the EXACT moment that I needed to hear those exact words. THANK YOU..."

I repeated the quote that I placed in my Facebook status earlier that morning, because it was fresh in my mind:

"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes." Susan stopped crying, wiped the tears from her cheeks and a bright smile exploded across her face. As we said our goodbyes, I reminded Susan that that it's up to us to keep the candle in our souls burning because that very candle will curse the darkness of our situations down the road. How bright our spiritual flames will burn is determined by US, not by our situations. And, "it only takes ONE candle to curse the darkness." Had I not been injured and at the hospital, I would not have been placed directly in Susan's path. Hugging her made a lot of the drama of my past few months disappear.

This difficult journey, though something I would've NEVER chosen for myself, has been like a Graduate School for my soul. I've learned that Spiritual Strength (SS) is infinitely more important than physical strength. With time, SS heals ALL emotional wounds, thus transforming a would-be victim into A WARRIOR!

My heart is opened to whatever The Universe wishes to teach me while I fight towards my full recovery. This new wave of inspiration has flooded my being so greatly that I almost feel badly for the times I've been frustrated with the crutches and the wheelchair. Focusing on what I can NOT do upsets me every time. I am now maintaining my focus on everything I CAN DO. And, low and behold, I am pretty amazing!! Who knew?? I bet you are, too (you just don't realize it yet). I'm excited to be a part of something EPIC, which is already teaching me more about pain, struggle, heartbreak, hope, determination, inspiration, life and love than I could have ever learned otherwise.

The key to TRUE HAPPINESS lies in keeping your heart opened to all of the lessons that the Universe is trying to teach you with each new experience. This holds true especially during the most trying times of our lives: When the chips are down, the bills are piling up, your back's against the wall & instinct is telling you to protect yourself by closing up to everyone around you. So, keep SMILING when you want to cry. Practice GRATITUDE. Search for the UNIQUE lessons to be learned through adversity. Let your soul overflow with HOPE, LOVE & LAUGHTER! As a result, a spark will IGNITE within your soul cursing the darkness and illuminating an INSPIRED path amongst the rubble of your troubles.

Brought to you by Hope for Disabilities

Don't Stop ~ Get it, Get it...

Written by:  Amandita Sullivan
 www.facebook.com/amanditasullivan

Whenever I have a long night of not being able to sleep because my body is killing me, I take a look at something like this: The final page of my accident report, with some extra notes added onto it. Reading the last line of this paragraph is scary, as is the thought that the driver was in a position/condition in which he had no idea he was operating the vehicle with a person on the trunk of his car. They say that, "he is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." Even though things have been less than ideal since, that day could have ended much differently for me (and not in a good way). Focusing on my multiple blessings makes me feel fortunate and beyond grateful that I'm in one piece today. Let's be honest: Having to fight your way to the top of any mountain stinks. But, once I get there, all the sleepless nights, tears, pain and struggle will have been worth it. So today I've got my eye on the NYC Marathon that I will be running someday. I can almost feel how exhilarating & empowering crossing the finish line is going to be =)

I HAVE FEARED BEING LABELED 'DISABLED

"he offered to pay me $20 bucks to not call the police & then left me for dead"

In the past, it has given me great Serenity to hear that my loved ones "don't see me as disabled." I have been called "a crippled b*tch" by heartless girls. I've had cabs stolen from me in the rain by able-bodied people who waited for me to catch the cab & then, as I struggled to crutch towards the door, ran in front of me & took it. I dated a boy who's parents, after meeting me, told him that "he deserved better than a crippled girl" & that "it was obvious that he was settling with someone who's disabled." I FEARED HOW PEOPLE VIEWED ME. I wanted desperately to be THE OLD ME: To run, skip, jump, hop, dance, swim, boogaloo, slip-n-slide, sprint stairs at the HS stadium, drive, go on adventures, rock climb, surf, pick up my niece & nephew, wear heels & pants that fit with a huge knee brace. I was riddled by guilt because the children I had picked out to be in an orphanage in Mexico City (which was to open March 1, 2009) are now lost in the streets bc I was unable to be there to finish setting up the shelter. The family of the 81 year old man- who hit me, offered to pay me $20 bucks to not call the police & then left me for dead- blame ME for his death 9 months afterwards. The man had a heart condition & his family contends that all the stress of what he did to me "did him in". I am broken-hearten over missing my cousin, Christy's, wedding this weekend in CT (my doctors have ordered me to bed rest again). I have missed college, HS & study abroad reunions. I have had migraines that lasted for days and left me hemorrhaging (blood and cerebrospinal fluid) from my ears and my nose. I have gone to the Emergency Room more in the last 2.5 years than I have gone out and had fun. I have done double sessions of Physical Therapy 3xs a week for over two years. I have cried myself to sleep more times than I could ever count. My baby niece refers to any crutches as "Mandy" and it dawned on me that neither my niece nor nephew remember me any other way than injured. I have met more inspirational people in the last few years than I ever imagined possible. I have ridden on the back of a moving vehicle with a driver who had NO IDEA I was on his car & and lived to tell the tale. If I had landed a different way upon hitting the street, the disks in my Thoracic spine which are impinging (poking) my spinal cord could have sunken further into my spinal cord & left me quadriplegic. ** I AM BLESSED ** I have numerous traumatic brain injuries and can still form sentences. I am surrounded by the love of my friends and family. I feel a burning desire inside of me to someday share the lessons this nightmare has taught me with the world. I have discovered that life is more about a series of ATTITUDES, as opposed to a series of CIRCUMSTANCES. I am infinitely stronger than I ever imagined. I have the cutest little Jewish Neurologist from Brooklyn who makes me want to hug him every time he speaks, even when he's giving me bad news. I recognize the light in EVERYONE I cross paths with. I have eliminated all negativity from my life & only welcome positive energy. I can not control the past but am controlling what I will do with it. I am BETTER than the old me: I am stronger, more focused, more driven, more appreciative, more loving, more hugging, more dreaming- My heart broke in early 2009 along with my body, but I kept it opened and it has GROWN & is now overflowing with love for everything around me. I have gone to the beach and watched the sunset over the water, something I dreamed of doing for the year+ that I was in bed for. I had a team of dragonflies land on me while sitting in the sand & discovered that dragonflies are NATIVE AMERICAN symbols of hope, strength in the face of adversity, endurance, rebirth & rejuvenation. I left the beach crying one day after seeing everyone around me doing everything at once that I wish I could do, only to force myself back to the beach the next cloudy day. I wore a hat down low & was on the verge of tears. I didn't want anyone to look at me because I felt very aware of how DIFFERENT my body was from theirs. My twin brother, Ryan, took a picture of me with the cloudy sky in the background & we were BLOWN AWAY when we saw the pictures: The dark, cloudy SKY was opening up above me and a bright, vibrant light was shining through and touching me in every picture (shown here). I knew my angels were sending me a message that "EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY". I want you to see me for WHO I am today. I am disabled. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am indestructible. I am determined to not let my physical limitations hold me back. I want you to think of me when you see someone wheeling themselves, crutching or caning themselves through life. I want you to realize that THEY, I mean WE, are no LESS than YOU because we are DIFFERENT. Every wheelchair, crutch and cane has a story and a HERO behind it. Our society should EMBRACE this inspiration instead of constantly shunning it. I am a spiritually-remodeled version of my pre-accident self. I REFUSE to stop fighting towards my COMPLETE recovery. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION!! In the meanwhile, I am learning a plethora of lessons from this debacle & hope that no one ever has to experience first-hand what the last few years have been like for me. But, they DO say that pressure MAKES diamonds. And what girl doesn't love Diamonds, right?!?! I will proudly wear these $piritual Diamonds as the new jewelry of my soul during my healing process and long after my recovery is complete. My wheelchair may not have hot rims but my soul is most certainly bling-blingin these days... and that makes this girl smile =)
Brought to you by Hope 4 Disabilities

Written by Amandita Sullivan http://www.facebook.com/AmanditaSullivan

Hope 4 Disabilities

 Kimberly was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 1996.  In 2003, she had to leave her career in marketing because her disabilities were advancing.  It was at this point that she realized  how little support is available to those living with disabilities.  She especially noticed a lack of of access to resources. 

This realization led her to found Hope 4 Disabilities, a non-profit organization whose vision is tremendously comprehensive.  Whose mission will be to reach to the disabled with resources and support.

H4D embraces a broad definition of “disabled” which includes both temporary and permanent mental, physical, and emotional disabilities.  Kimberly believes that disabilities exist as much in ones mind as they do in ones body—and that all “disabled” individuals should have ready access to resources and support.

She believes a centralized database, readily accessed and easily searched, is merely a place to begin.  She, along with her Board, are working with State officials and with other community organizations to provide the assistance and support that will allow disabled individuals to participate as equal members of our society.  Their dream is that, one day, society will “treat all people with disabilities as just people; where we don't see the disability, we see the person.” 

H4D is chartered to  1) improve the lives of all disabled people, from conception to natural death, through services, advocacy, and education; and to 2) provide services and education for parents who have children with a disability.  It has secured non-profit status.  Kimberly L Selden is the President, Heidi J Swenson is the Vice-President, and their Board is composed of both resource people and other disabled individuals or parents of disabled children.

More information about their work can be found at www.helpsfordisabilities.org www.kimberlyselden.com